I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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