can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she smelled like a LAN party
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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