They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
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Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
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I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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