you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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