as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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