i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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