I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
His hands were made for my vagina.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
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Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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