I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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