Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize