If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
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He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
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well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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