I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize