I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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