The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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