How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize