Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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