my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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