Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize