I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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