i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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