what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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