Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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