no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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