she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
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Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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