i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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