Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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