do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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