Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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