She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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