We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize