Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize