I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
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I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i believe in u and ur pee
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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