kristin has been a bad kristin
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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