grandma shit on top of the toilet
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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