I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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