OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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