hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize