I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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