Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Drake has all the answers
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize