do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
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At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize