You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize