I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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