my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this just has baby written all over it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize