I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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