I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize