dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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