i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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