i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize