Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize