Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
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ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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