i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize